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By putting more pressure on him, I pushed him away.To avoid adding pressure, make sure that you know that you are both on the same path.But business was good though and I thought ok…I got this. I was 40, starting over professionally and living alone for the first time. And all the first “all by myself” milestones come and go.

Instead, confront your situation head on (if you want kids with a divorced guy) especially if he has children already.

That’s what I told myself when I had a mild freak out about that particular birthday.

My friends and family threw me a hell of a party in November. You struggle to adjust the cups because it’s just not comfortable. No amount of shimmying or jiggling is going to make it work. I think we were trying to pretend we were the perfect fit for a long time. For me, I didn’t realize we were in trouble, because I was just trying to be happy. Somewhere in the process of trying to make it work – I lost myself. You kind of adopt your partner’s philosophies on things, whether they are yours or not.

That relationship produced a daughter who was 3 at the time that the divorce took place.

I got remarried 2 1/2 years ago and we now have a son who just turned 11 months old this week.

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